I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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