I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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