I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
