We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
