If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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