i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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