plz talk dirty to me
So drunk its hurt
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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