She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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