$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
