I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
