Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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