Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize