You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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