It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
