How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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