My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
