is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
