that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
