Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
