I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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