i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
