Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
