Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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