its not stalking. its research.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
