he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We need to get me chipped asap
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
