I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
