This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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