Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
