I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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