so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
