Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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