I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
