Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
