you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
