Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
