You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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