Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I love you. Go after that dick
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
