Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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