Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize