I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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