New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
