Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
