dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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