Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
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