margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
