I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
