Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
