I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
