omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
