worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
