my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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