his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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