At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
