I wanna bring you to show and tell
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
