I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
