I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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