it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
