Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
