its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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