??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just found puke in my bra..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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